it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
