a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
