If i come over, it means nothing
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Also, beer. Big fan.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
