My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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