It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I pour the whiskey from now on
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
