She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
