apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
