she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
