Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
