I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
