How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
