dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
