Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
false alarm, still single
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