just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
