U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
