Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I want to be your penis for a week.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
