I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
