I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
