He is such a slut. More and more my type.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
