Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
