We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
