Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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