Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
