Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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