i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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