Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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