Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
