omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
