smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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