So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
