You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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