Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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