Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
