Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
