this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
