Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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