brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
COCAINE IS GR8
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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