i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
