It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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