I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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