I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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