He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Randomize
