dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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