About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
