Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
