dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
