Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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