Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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