Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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