i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
